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[rank theory] SEO Newsletter

the world's grumpiest SEO lifts you up each week with inspiring SEO content. Rank Theory is a twice-weekly newsletter containing emerging theories, illuminating experiments, and occasional sh*tposting, as well as a special weekly domain-focused Friday edition.

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all of your old, terrible SEO domains...

well shit. hello again! I did an experiment to see if having a crippling back injury for three months helps with productivity ESPECIALLY around sending emails. it doesn't. been pretty busy though (check out the announcement below). thanks for sticking with me. here's 2000+ words of SEO bullshit: News and Updates You know, you love it, it's the (used to be) weekly meme content so you can click through and still look like an active, engaged subscriber even if you block spying in your inbox...

(this post is v. image heavy: please enable images for best reading experience or don't be pissed at me when you have to scroll up cuz you want to see all the images...) here it is, another great SEO newsletter. look at me, sending it on a Saturday morning like an absolute newsletter GENIUS when everyone has definitely fucked off for the weekend. oh well, see you when I do my "send to unopens" routine on Tuesday lol. the meat of this email is basically "how I'm building out a seven-figure...

hello. email newsletter intros are weird, like hi, i know you opened this email to receive the promise that the subject line made, but first you have to read these few paragraphs because the social contracts we decided on as a society value a little bit of small talk before we jump into a thing, whether it's a job interview, a sales call, or other social situation I cannot think of, because I don't like them, and actively avoid them to the point where my brain can't even conceive of a...

did you know that quote "simplicity is the ultimate sophistication--" commonly attributed to Da Vinci (and slightly less commonly Steve Jobs) was just casually attributed to Da Vinci by some random-ass blog in the early 2000s and people were just like... yeah all right, I can get on board with that, it's canon. so just FYI, this is a PSA so you don't put that on your sales page or in your email signature with a Da Vinci attribution and look like a total ass. 🍑 hello again! did you miss me?...

do you get it? it's from the song... ☀️ hello again, friends on this late Friday afternoon. what is this guy doing. sending a marketing email on a Friday afternoon? foolish. I won't stand for it. i hear you. i won't stand for it either! what kind of idiot... anyway, things have been a little tough lately, sorry. pet stuff, and house stuff. and launching my first book stuff where I'm trying to start a publishing company, literally THE HARDEST AND MOST IMPOSSIBLE SHIT... so from my incredibly...

first of all: hello new followers! second of all: I was writing my regularly schedule email I started on Tuesday and KAPOW huge Google update drops, ruins my whole flow... so now there's a whole email about THAT. and that is this email you're reading now. here we go... News and Updates First: a new service! You might have noticed... I'm pretty invested in the idea that newsletters are good and valuable. There's data that backs this up. As a believer and ALSO as a person who is, in my...

hey it's me, your favorite SEO newsletter writer. I'm back again with THE GOODS, an email chock-full (not chopped-full) of interesting SEO insights and observations from someone who doesn't feel like DOING the SEO, but someone who very much feels like yelling about it. you know what they say: those who can, do. those who cannot, rant about it each week in an increasingly unhinged email newsletter. well, here we are. Another week of anxiety all the time, trying to launch a new thing (that I...

we did it made it through another work of surviving the horrors (like you do) but this newsletter's not about that... THIS time. it's about surviving the Google Updates (mostly... sort of). here we go News and Updates Thanks for sticking with me through last week's... weird email. Lot of people seemed to like it, though. Thanks to everyone who reached out and said something nice. :) In other news I purged a bunch of people that never opened my email or clicked on a link before sending this,...

today's email is the story of trying to start a coffee shop in a small Vermont town: maple leaves turning to flame juxtaposed against the deep evergreens apple trees in the U Pick orchards heavy with honeycrisps pumpkin spice everything people that drive for hours and hours just to experience autumn in the greatest autumnal place on earth and spending their tourism dollars but it's also about SEO. Obviously... First! A word from our sponsor, who I love and deeply respect for helping to fund...

through the dark amongst the mist a hunter emerges from shadow and steps into a clearing all nearby creatures pause, sensing the danger--not a breath expelled or insect step can be heard this hunter, it is not here to consume, tearing flesh from bone, or crushing exoskeletons no, it is here... to educate you about SEO News and Updates Hey! Another week, another newsletter. That's why you're here! Before we move on to the newsletter that your favorite SEO influencer once called " " JK your...